What do you do when your team loses their last home game of the season four years in a row? When you follow up a heartbreaking Game 7 loss to an inferior eventual champion with two soul crushing last-day collapses in your own park? When you haven't won your last game at home since Bush's first term in office? Do you figure out the root cause of these flamouts? Do you address those issues with smart scouting and wisely appropriated money?
Sure, you could do that. But, eh...
Let's just tear the whole place down. You kill the location, you drown the mediocrity, right?
Goodbye Shea Stadium! You were a place where dreams went to die and choke artists went to impregnate each other and multiply. Good riddance!
Hello Citi Field! You are a wonderful palace of possibilities where the Marlins can't possibly hold our dreams hostage and execute them on national television. Hail the new king of opulent, soon-to-be-renamed-because-its-namesake-is-oh-so-close-to-filing-bankruptcy, Ebbets Field inspired ballparks!
Here's to Opening Day! Nothing bad can happen anymore! Nothing!
Fuck you, Tom Glavine! Sure, a deaf, retarded squirrel could give up 7 runs in the 1st inning, but at least he'd have the decency to give a shit about it!
BAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
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