WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!

After 6 and a half years of saving America from political assassinations, nuclear threat, weaponized viruses, nuclear threat, nerve gas (but really nuclear threat), and nuclear threat, you would think people would give Jack Bauer a little more credence. A little more leeway. You would think people would say, "Man, this guy has been getting our asses out of hot water for the better part of one of the most tumultuous decades in American history. Maybe we should listen to him."

But no. Jack thinks terrorist A is withholding information and the only way to get it out of him before the nearest shopping mall goes up in flames is through torture. Nope, he's told us everything he knows already. Jack thinks CTU Grunt B is secretly allied with the enemy and is feeding them classified intelligence that could compromise national security. Nope, he's been nothing but loyal for the three days he's been employed. Jack thinks that the President is conspiring with Islamic Cell C and is behind the theft of the nuclear football. Oh god, he's an elected official, and we don't elect officials who betray their countrymen.

What these people need to do is stop and ask themselves why they're questioning this guy. Is it to stroke their own ego in the face of almighty badassery? To see if Jack will actually agree with them? To create conflict to keep the story entertaining? We may never know what these foolish mortals are thinking.

There's just too much of "Jack, you crazy asshole, what the hell are you doing?!" and not enough "You know Jack, you are the only soldier this country has ever needed, keep doing what you're doing, you wonderful piece of man." The guy has eighteen Purple Hearts, Seven Legions of Merit, Four Silver Stars, and about a half dozen Medal Of Honors. That's a fact. Check Bachipedia.

So, let's all step back and let Mr. Bauer do his neck-snapping, baddie-chopping thing. If we let him have his space, 24 could become more like 14, and I would be able to leave my dark, urine-soaked, heavily salted DVD viewing marathons sooner and reenter normal society with at least a modicum of sanity. The smell really gets to the neighbors around hour seventeen.